Perry Noble, Senior Pastor of NewSpring Church says, “We don’t fight battles with people that claim to be Christian but don’t like us. We don’t fight battles with bloggers; we don’t read the stuff; we don’t go on and comment. We don’t do that stuff. You know why? That’s not our calling. Our calling is to preach the gospel–Jesus crucified, buried, risen, coming again. And I don’t have time to worry, and neither do you, about what people say. We can’t control what people say…

…

I had a conversaiton with Rick Warren… I get some coaching from him. He said, “Perry let me give you three things to do: Out-love, out-live and out-fruit your critics.”  We’re not called to fight battles. We’re called to preach the gospel and that’s where our focus needs to be.

No related posts.

““If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” (Matthew 18:15 NIV)

In his commentary on Matthew 18:15, Craig Blomberg writes that a believer who has been wronged by another Christian brother should seek reconciliation privately.  Read what he has to say (boldface added for emphasis).

“The case Jesus presents involves an individual believer who has been wronged by another Christian (‘brother’), presumably in the same community of believers. […]  The illustration here is personal. The offended believer has the responsibility to convict or convince (from Greek elench?—’show him his fault’) the other person privately. Ideally, the two individuals should resolve the problem without involving anyone else. The source for Jesus’ command may lie in Lev 19:17–18. Galatians 6:1 offers a good commentary on the spirit of and rationale for such correction. ‘Listens’ means responds properly. How often personal confrontation is the last stage rather than the first in Christian complaints! It frequently seems as if the whole world knows of someone’s grievances against us before we are personally approached. Hopefully, following Jesus’ guidelines will win over Christian brothers or sisters before anyone else ever has to know about the problem (cf. Jas 5:19–20).”^[1]

Related posts:

1. Win Your Brother. Don’t punish him
2. Steps To Take When a Christian Sins Against You

Peacemaker Ministries President Ken Sande gives practical biblical guidance for conflict resolution that takes you beyond resolving conflicts to true, life changing reconciliation with family, coworkers, and fellow believers.

Read what Christians have been saying about The Peace Maker:

“‘Blessed are the peacemakers,’ said Jesus. With crystal clarity this manual lays before us the wisdom that leads humble souls into that blessing.”
+++- J.I. Packer, author of Knowing God

“The Peacemaker is a practical and faithful primer for how obedience to God’s Word can change deadlock into restoration in families, churches, workplaces, neighborhoods, and even prisons.”
+++- Charles W. Colson, founder, Prison Fellowship

“The Peacemaker provides clear, biblical steps to resolving conflict in personal and professional relationships.”
+++- Franklin Graham, president and CEO, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and Samaritan’s
++++Purse

“I know of no living writer who is a more reliable guide for peacemaking in church and family than Ken Sande.”
+++- John Piper, pastor, Bethlehem Baptist Church

Click here for ordering information.

Related posts:

1. Don’t Fall on the Slippery Slope of Conflict
2. Why is This Happening to Me?
3. Get Help With A Church Conflict

Here are some excerpts from Daniel J. Solove, Professor of Law at George Washington University Law School, taken from his book “The Future of Reputation: Gossip, Rumor, and Privacy on the Internet.” (Boldface type added for emphasis).

——————————————————————————–

“When we determine whether gossip is good or not, we must look at the who, what, and why of it. We should ask: Who is making the  disclosure? Is the disclosure made to the appropriate audience? Is the purpose behind the disclosure one we should encourage or discourage? The problem with Internet gossip is that it can so readily be untethered from its context.”

————-

“Shaming is nothing new-we’ve been doing it for centuries. But Internet shaming creates a permanent record of a person’s  transgressions. And it is done by amateur self-appointed investigative reporters, often without affording the target a chance at self-defense. Numerous others then join in to help shame the victim, creating the cyberspace equivalent to mob justice.”

————-

“People who act inappropriately might not be able to escape into obscurity anymore; instead, they may be captured in pixels and plastered across the Internet. They’ll be held responsible for their actions. But perhaps responsibility cuts both ways. Shouldn’t the cyberspace norm police also have responsibilities? What if they get out of hand? What if they wrongly accuse somebody? What if their shaming punishes a minor transgression too much?”

————-

“People are careless when they gossip,” Brison observes, “because they know they will not have to take responsibility for their words. This  means that rumor spreads easily and the truth is distorted.” As the philosopher   Martin Heidegger noted, gossip “spreads in wider circles and takes on  an authoritative character. Things are so because one says so. Idle talk is constituted   in this gossiping and passing the word along, a process by which its  initial lack of grounds to stand on increases to complete groundlessness.”

————-

“In  other words, the problem with gossip is that it is based on unsubstantiated  rumors, and people often don’t bother to learn the full story. For Heidegger,  gossip is a superficial way of learning information about others. It doesn’t involve   a serious attempt to understand another person but often remains shallow   and careless.”

————-

“In the ordinary criminal justice  process, a person is innocent until proven guilty. The world of shaming works  differently, as people are punished without a hearing.”

————-

“Norm enforcers [bloggers] can be mistaken. There are no rules and procedures to ensure  that the Internet norm police are accurate in their assessments of who  should be deemed blameworthy. An example by the mainstream media illustrates   the problems with mistaken attempts to shame.”

——————————————-

A free copy of his book can be downloaded here:”The Future of Reputation: Gossip, Rumor, and Privacy on the Internet.”

No related posts.

The following is taken from Ken Sande’s book, The PeaceMaker.

——————————————————————–

“There are three basic ways that people respond to conflict.  These responses may be arranged on a curve that resembles a hill.  On the left slope of the hill we find the escape responses to conflict.  On the right side are the attack responses.  And in the center we find the peacemaking responses.

Imagine that this hill is covered with ice.  If you go too far to the left or the right, you can lose your footing and slide down the slope.  Similarly, when you experience conflict, it is easy to become defensive or antagonistic.  Both responses make matters worse and can lead to more extreme reactions.  If you want to stay on top of this slippery slope, you need to do two things.  First, ask God to help you resist the natural inclination to escape or attack when faced with conflict.  Second, ask him to help you develop the ability to live out the gospel by using the peacemaking response that is best suited to resolving a particular conflict.”

To read more about the responses or about peace making get a copy of Ken Sande’s book, The Peacemaker:A Biblical Guide to Resolving Conflict.

No related posts.

““If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.”  (Matthew 18:15 NIV)

D.A. Carson comments on Matthew 18:15.

“The aim must be to win your brother over, restoration, not punishment. To that end, the minimum of publicity must be used. The erring brother must be approached alone or at most with one or two others. Only if that fails is it necessary to involve the church (the local congregation); it is to be expected that the offender will listen to the united conviction of his fellow-disciples. If he does not, the only course open remains a severing of fellowship, though presumably still with the hope that this will jolt him into repentance and restoration.”^[1]

Related posts:

1. Conflict Resolution Should Begin Privately

“What should we do when another Christian has sinned against us or caused us to stumble? Our Lord gave several instructions.

“Keep the matter private. Approach the person who sinned and speak with him alone. It is possible that he does not even realize what he has done. Or, even if he did it deliberately, your own attitude of submission and love will help him to repent and apologize. Above all else, go to him with the idea of winning your brother, not winning an argument. It is possible to win the argument and lose your brother.

“We must have a spirit of meekness and gentleness when we seek to restore a brother or sister (Gal. 6:1). We must not go about condemning the offender, or spreading gossip. We must lovingly seek to help him in the same way we would want him to help us if the situation were reversed. The word restore in Galatians 6:1 is a Greek medical word that means ‘to set a broken bone.’ Think of the patience and tenderness that requires!

“Ask for help from others. If the offender refuses to make things right, then we may feel free to share the burden with one or two dependable believers. We should share the facts as we see them and ask the brethren for their prayerful counsel. After all, it may be that we are wrong. If the brethren feel the cause is right, then together we can go to the offender and try once again to win him. Not only can these men assist in prayer and persuasion, but they can be witnesses to the church of the truth of the conversation (Deut. 19:15; 2 Cor. 13:1).

“When sin is not dealt with honestly, it always spreads. What was once a matter between two people has now grown to involve four or five people. No wonder Jesus and Paul both compared sin to leaven (yeast), because leaven spreads.

“Ask the church for help. Remember, our goal is not the winning of a case but the winning of a brother. The word gained in Matthew 18:15 is used in 1 Corinthians 9:19–22 to refer to winning the lost; but it is also important to win the saved. This is our Lord’s second mention of the church (see Matt. 16:18), and here it has the meaning of a local assembly of believers. Our Lord’s disciples were raised in the Jewish synagogue, so they were familiar with congregational discipline.

“What started as a private problem between two people is now out in the open for the whole church to see. Church discipline is a neglected ministry these days, yet it is taught here and in the epistles (see 1 Cor. 5; 2 Thes. 3:6–16; 2 Tim. 2:23–26; Titus 3:10). Just as children in the home need discipline, so God’s children in the church need discipline. If by the time the matter comes to the whole church, the offender has not yet changed his mind and repented, then he must be disciplined. He cannot be treated as a spiritual brother, for he has forfeited that position. He can only be treated as one outside the church, not hated, but not held in close fellowship.”^[1]

No related posts.

The following is taken from Ken Sande’s book, The PeaceMaker.

————————————————

Ken Sande, The PeaceMaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, Grand Rapids:Baker Books, 2004, p.63.

“The fact that God is good does not mean that he will insulate us from all suffering.  Rather it means that he will be with us in our suffering and accomplish good through it  (Isa. 43:2-3).  We have already seen several ways that God can use trials and difficulties for good.  He often uses them to bring glory to himself by displaying his goodness, power, and faithfulness (e.g., John 9:1-5; 11:1-4; 1 Peter 1:6-7).  J.I. Packer writes, ‘We see that he leaves us in a world of sin to be tried, tested, belaboured by troubles that threaten to crush us–in order that we may glorify him by our patience under suffering, and in order that he may display the riches of his grace and call forth new praises from us as he constantly upholds and delivers us.’

“God also uses our trials to teach us how to minister to others when they are suffering (2 cor. 1:3-5).  Through our trials, we can set an example that will encourage others to depend on God and remain faithful to his commands (2 Cor. 1:6-11).  In doing so, we are passing on the example given by Christ:

If you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.  To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. …When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats.  Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. …So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.  (1 Peter 2:20, 23; 4:19)

“By allowing us to suffer insults, conflict and other hardships, God teaches us to rely more on him (2 Cor. 1:9; 12:710).  When we suffer the unpleasant consequences of our sins, he will show us our need for repentance (Ps. 119:67-71).  In addition, God uses difficulties to conform us to the likeness of Christ (Rom. 8:28-29).  The trials he gives us require that we practice the character qualities that will make us like our Lord.”

——————————————-

To read more about the responses or about peace making get a copy of Ken Sande’s book, The Peacemaker:A Biblical Guide to Resolving Conflict.

No related posts.

Peacemaker Ministries has resources and assistance that can help.

Peacemaker Ministries offers the following services:

• Conflict Coaching is the process of providing advice (often by telephone) to a pastor or leadership team on how to resolve a particular conflict in their church. (Click to request assistance or for the Interview Agreement).
• Mediation is the process of meeting with both parties to a conflict and helping them to move toward a voluntary agreement. (The parties are still responsible for deciding on a final agreement.) Meditation usually requires personal meetings, and is appropriate when a conflict involves only a few people in a church. (Request Assistance)
• Church Intervention is an extensive mediation process designed to resolve a conflict that involves a large portion of a congregation. It usually involves a team of conciliators who visit a church for several days, during which time they meet extensively with all of the individuals and groups of people involved in a conflict. An intervention team has no authority to issue binding decisions, but upon request it can provide a detailed written evaluation and specific recommendations on how to address a conflict. For more information, please see the information below.

To go to their website, click here..

No related posts.

Rev. Michael P. Orsi, Chaplain and Research Fellow in Law and Religion at the Ave Maria School of Law in Michigan, writes the following about defaming the reputation of others on the Internet.  The article is a must read and has been posted here in its entirety below.

——————————————————-

“Calumny on the Blogosphere,” by Rev. Michael P. Orsi.

Calumny is defined by the American Heritage Dictionary as a “false statement maliciously made to injure another’s reputation.” Calumny has been part of life since the dawn of time. But opportunities for calumny have proliferated with the advent of the Internet, especially since the rise of the phenomenon known as “blogging.”

An especially compelling element of blogging is the ability to project one’s ideas, observations and opinions with near-complete anonymity. It is common blogger practice to adopt an online persona — usually some cute name or title with relevance to the main focus of the blog. Likewise, readers who comment on blog postings or participate in discussions can set their views before the world without revealing themselves. Service providers that host blogs routinely permit such anonymity, and the law has upheld the practice (in only a handful of court cases have providers been forced to unmask their blogging clients).

But the power to reach a wide audience while remaining in the shadows has proven a source of great temptation. All too many online commentators have been dazzled by this technology that magnifies personal identity and stokes the ego while providing a shield from the consequences of their words. Whole new avenues of calumny have been the result.

The essential problem with anonymous blogging is that masked comments can easily turn malicious, intentionally or otherwise. Growing concern about online threats and character assassination among teenagers using social networking services like MySpace and Facebook has spawned the terms, “cyber-bullying” and “cyber-stalking”. There have been cases of violence — even suicide — attributed to blog campaigns launched against targeted individuals. The walking wounded are showing up in hospitals, psychiatrists’ offices, and high school dropout statistics.

Calumny does not exist apart from the other realities of life. It is nurtured by social conditions and the particular circumstances in which individuals find themselves, circumstances that can provide the rationalizations and self-deception that blind us to the seriousness of our words and actions. For instance, we live in a society that puts a high premium on winning. It’s easy to convince ourselves that anything goes, as long as we achieve the results we want and don’t get caught doing what we know in our hearts we shouldn’t do.

Unfortunately, years of highly publicized moral lapses by athletes — both on and off the field — have accustomed us to boorish behavior, lack of sportsmanship, and even criminality in the sports world. A culture of cheating — where winning is all and how we win makes no difference — has become a kind of perverse norm.

Calumny is cheating. It does not play by the rules. It is unsportsmanlike in the extreme, even viciously so. It uses half truths, innuendo, misrepresentation, disregard for context, and downright lies, all in the hope that some negative bit of mud, no matter how distorted or absurd, will stick to the person or organization under attack. And it is abetted by the unethical use of technology, including visual technology.

Such devices and tactics have been used to discredit public figures and private persons alike, to disparage companies, institutions, government agencies, political movements, and of course, churches and religious groups. And the impact is multiplied by other bloggers who link to the original posting or pick up a story and disseminate it farther, even around the world.

There are bloggers who present their calumny under the guise of “allegations,” applying evasive constructs like “some people are saying” or “it has been alleged.” Such writers are often well educated (sometimes with a law background), skilled at parsing words in order to avoid culpability for legal defamation. In this they rely for protection on the high standard of proof required to bring a libel action.

Others recognize the calumny, but see it as a compromise that must be made for the sake of a noble cause. They hope that by destroying an opponent’s reputation they will de-legitimize the position which that opponent represents. This is the “greater good” rationalization, the thinking of terrorists willing to kill innocent people (even sometimes themselves) in pursuit of lofty goals. In such manner, “cyber-terrorists” are often willing to tolerate a certain amount of “collateral damage” for the sake of what they perceive as good. They will employ pernicious lies concerning sexual matters that can wreck marriages, allegations of legal impropriety that can destroy careers, statements demeaning the moral probity of civic leaders that can weaken society as a whole.

Bloggers of either mindset ignore a basic precept of morality: Evil means may never be employed to achieve a good end (perhaps their skewed thinking can be compared to that of people who believe it’s moral to kill abortion doctors in order to end the horror of abortion).

This type of blogging presents us with a situation of serious moral and ethical concern because it violates the dignity of persons and undermines truth. And in the end, truth is the only basis on which a good society can be built.

Those involved in blogging would do well keep in mind the words of the Prophet Isaiah 33:15, which says of the good person: “He who acts with integrity, who speaks sincerely …shuts suggestion of murder out of his ears, and closes his eyes against crime, this man will dwell in the heights.”

—————————————————

The original article can be found here.

No related posts.